LIFE LESSONS MOST PEOPLE OFTEN LEARN TOO LATE
LIFE LESSONS MOST PEOPLE OFTEN LEARN TOO LATE
It is often the fear of many people that their lives end up not as they expected. We have these dreams about where we see our future self and then it is oftentimes a pain when that isn't what becomes.
Regardless of what those aspirations and dreams are, I've lined up a list of some of the most important life lessons I could find that will definitely be of help in achieving your desired ambition. These are some life lessons many people often learn too late in life:
Most people fail, because they are afraid to stand up against their loved ones.
Whether it's a proud dad or it's a pushy uncle, we all have people in our lives who expect us to behave in certain ways, say certain things, accomplish certain things… and it is very often the case that what they intend for us isn't necessarily what we planned for ourselves. But we have to realise that we were each born with our own special purposes on earth. We can't accomplish that purpose if all we do is to be blindly tossed around by the wishes and expectations of others. There comes a point where we have to stand up for ourselves, make decisions on our own then talk to those that have expectations for us, trying our very best to make them see that although they strive for the best for us, it's our lives and our decision.
Your Self Esteem should not be dependent on the validation of others.
In a world where everyone flashes their apparent wealth, happiness and accomplishments, it's often very easy to compare ourselves to them. And then wish we had what they have. And then in an effort to appear as though we are in vogue, we bend over backwards and mask our reality so much that we become ashamed of who we truly are. With time, this only drives us far away from our purpose and happiness. This mask we have over our reality only does quite the opposite of make us happy. While we pretend for the likes, admiration and validation, only we know our true reality and when we look at the dreadful depth of our charade, we become depressed and feel unfulfilled. The prevention of this is simply to like what we like and hate what we hate. Never compromise for validation. Never do what you wouldn't or say what you don't want to to impress. Stand and be proud of yourself for who you are. Because only you can be the best you you can be.
Stop wasting your energy by reacting to toxic people's comments.
When i was younger, in college, I had a Narcissistic friend that always tried his very best to feed on any insecurities i had, even when what he said didn't really make sense. He would try to get a laugh out of everyone else by making me look bad, less than or worthless. Whenever I was dancing and he comes along, he always had something negative to say. Because of his words, I formed an impression in my mind that I wasn't a good dancer and stopped dancing for weeks. One day, I shut my room door, made sure he wasn't around, played some music and danced my heart out. At that point, I didn't care anymore. I didn't care whether i was actually dancing badly, i didn't care if what he was saying was true or not, all i cared about was that i loved doing what i was doing. I enjoyed dancing. I said to myself "j am a great dancer"! And from that moment on, whether he hurled insults at me or not, I simply, didn't care. As long as he said nothing constructive i could learn from, i threw away every bit of condemnation he spat at me. This made me a lot more confident in myself and my dancing and I would advise this to others. Don't get worked up because somebody just hates you and verbally defaces you. See yourself as getting better at being the best you can be.
Only by taking responsibility for your actions, can you become successful.
Check out these 9 ways to take responsibility for your life.
https://thriveglobal.com/stories/9-ways-to-take-responsibility-for-your-life/
Perfection is a mind trap. Stop trying too hard.
Never judge someone based on others' gossip.
Word goes around. And as word goes around each person that propagates it adds a bit extra to it to spice up the story. We've all been guilty of that. This appears harmless and trivial, but when such gossip paints someone else as what they are not, that can be very dangerous and misleading. The fact that a lot of lies are added through gossip is the very reason you should never judge someone based on gossip. This can limit you greatly and tarnish a potentially beautiful relationship. How would you like it if you heard from a stranger that you robbed a bank when that never happened [hopefully]?! Before forming a conclusion about someone, get to know them first.
Don’t get mad or expect understanding from others – Understand that everyone has different life stories & experiences.
We've all been in that situation where we're yelling at the other person who's just not seeing things from our viewpoint and the other person yelling back. But when we look at it, many arguments are actually caused by the differences in perspective, likes, dislikes, life experiences and so on that we've had. It could be annoying when someone doesn't see it from your perspective, but the truth is, that isn't so easy. Due to their experiences in life they may see things differently than you and judge happenings in a completely different way than you would. If you can't explain your point to their understanding, Rather than getting angry, accept that people are different and have different views.
The best way to deal with toxic people is to cut them out of your life as soon as possible.
Remember that guy that insults me whenever I dance, he didn't stop. Even though I learnt to ignore all those, I couldn't continue walking around with negativity flying at me. I had to distance myself from him as best as I could. Even though we were once close friends, it became quite apparent that I was at the losing side of such friendship and it would do me zero good, I slowly had to distance myself. You might have someone around you that only seeks to tear you down whether advertently or not. You might not see it straight away, but all that relationship will do is to make you look at yourself with less esteem and reduce your confidence in yourself. If you can't convince such people to stop their toxic words and behaviour, you have to cut them out of your life as soon as possible. It could be done without you even telling them, but in some cases, you have to be aggressive and tell them to their faces that you no longer want anything to do with them.
Never try to control everyone and everything around you.
As already stated earlier, we all have different perspectives and life experiences. You cannot control others or make them what you want because you aren't them. As for situations, you can't always be in control of what's happening around you. Some things happen that you didn't expect or prepare for. It's okay. That's just life. You'd be a lot happier if you stopped trying to control what is beyond your power to control.
You have to step out of your comfort zone to get Success.
Focus on your strengths, work on your weaknesses.
As you work, trust the timing of God & be patient.
In everything you do, always patiently hope for a better tomorrow. And trust that the rewards of your hands will come to you in it's due time. Even when it seems like that's not the case, look around and be grateful for where you already are. That's one step to happiness regardless of fulfillment.
If this write-up inspired you in any way, comment your thoughts below. Share with us some of the things listed here that you’re guilty of.
Remember, it’s not just about reading all these. It’s putting them into practice that really makes a difference in your life.
THANK YOU.
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